Cockroach Lists Hole in Wall as “Studio,” Sets Rent at Three Crumbs

CHARLOTTE — A small opening in a brick wall has been listed as a studio apartment by local cockroach landlord Gregor Crawl, now renting for three bread crumbs per month.

The unit, marked “studio” beside its entrance, offers what Crawl described as an “efficient footprint” and “open-concept living.”

Tenants say the label is generous.

“You can’t even turn around,” said current occupant Lila Roach. “You just pick a direction and stay there.”

Crawl defended the price, citing strong demand and “outdoor access.”

Across the neighborhood, residents report similar conditions, with even minimal spaces commanding higher rents.

“Anything with a shadow is getting listed,” said Marvin Beetle. “Cans, bottles—whatever’s dark enough.”

As of press time, several prospective tenants had already lined up, describing the unit as “small, but well-located and generously damp.”